Hey beautiful readers!
This week is a special week for me, as yesterday was my husband and I’s first anniversary. While we spent the weekend indulging in our favorite things, relaxing in the sun and eating some of the greatest food we can find, I found myself reminiscing on the joyous celebration we had just one year ago.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I got as I was planning my own wedding was to remember to prioritize time with each other, because the day will fly. And they were absolutely right. One second it’s 7am and you’re rolling up to the venue with your girls, and in the blink of an eye the dj is playing your last call song.
As we planned our day, one of our successes was padding ourselves with extra time. We started everything probably 30 minutes ahead of when we really “needed” to, and made sure to leave about 30-45 minutes at the end of our pre-ceremony activities as a buffer as well as time to take a deep breath and really get ready. I actually didn’t panic at all on wedding day other than the singular moment our coordinator took the moms and bridesmaids out of the room to line up and I was all alone. Even though you’ll panic, you’ll look back on those few seconds of silence and appreciate the brief lull in the chaos!
I have a few friends who can echo the above sentiment, but not only does it fly, you truly won’t notice anything about your ceremony other than your partner. I have a keen eye for noticing things out of place, and I had no idea my best friend had ended up in the very front row right next to my mom. Granted, he did walk her down the aisle, but he totally had another seat that was supposed to be reserved and someone sat in it. I found out 5 weeks later when I got my album back.
Point being, it’s a blur. (This is why I suggest hiring a videographer or at least having some recording of your ceremony. As the bride, you don’t get to watch anyone walk down the aisle, and I love being able to go back and hear the raw emotion in our voices as we went through our ceremony.)
We did our pictures after the ceremony and did not attend cocktail hour. Jason wanted the traditional don’t see each other until I’m walking down the aisle, which I LOVED. We did do a first touch which was a great way to relieve some tension and have a quick moment of intimacy. This time frame was by far the most hectic, our family and friends were informed of when and where they were needed, and our photographer and coordinator had a strict plan to follow, so we got it done efficiently.
If I’m being honest, our entire plan was really centered around throwing the most outstanding party we could. Every decision we made regarding timing, flow, order of speeches/ dances and music were geared around getting our guests on the dancefloor in the most efficient and quick, but not rushed way possible. A few ways we achieved this included having champagne and salads plated upon guests entering the reception, as well as shortening our first dance songs. We spread out our speeches and we put a time limit on all of them, so guests didn’t feel like they were dragged through monologues, whether my dad listened to his or not :/
From then on, it truly is all about how YOU experience the night. If you’re on the dance floor having a good time, your guests will surround you. We had flip flops for comfort for the girls and sunglasses passed out on the dancefloor, to get the party in full effect as the colored up lighting filled the room.
A very particular song selection that encouraged everyone from ages 16-98 to sing along and dance, and let me tell you they did. I remember not leaving the dancefloor that entire night, dancing, singing, and drinking surrounded by a collection of people that were truly central to who we both are as individuals and a couple.
When I look back, I truly have not a single regret. I learned some lessons that definitely play into my contributions as a planner, but no regrets and that’s the way it should be.
If I think about it, it’s because throughout our entire engagement process we remained committed to one main thing: we are doing this EXACTLY the way WE want. And let me tell you, there were bumps in the road. I have to take a moment to thank my mother for putting up with me as I continued to disappoint family traditions or ideals and construct a wedding that was well, not exactly traditional. She claims I was a bridezilla but I really just had a particular attention to minute details - for good reason, as she will admit if you ask her now.
All that to say, focus on the way YOU want to experience your wedding day, because in the end, that’s the memory you’ll have to hold on to. The bride and groom are the guests of honor, as I’ve mentioned as being a central part of The Calm Bride planning experience- and that’s because it all started on my own wedding day.
I can’t wait to help so many beautiful couples experience the same joy and come away with the same memories and complete satisfaction with the way they chose to have their wedding day.
My heart is feeling very full today,
Xoxo
Alyssa
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